One Dad's Journey

March 2009 - Posts

• Where have all the Heroes gone? They're wrestling

  You may not recognize the name of Kyle Maynard, but if you have seen his story on an ESPN television special or read about him in a magazine or book, you will never forget this young man.  I first read about him in a book called, “Finish Strong” by Dan Green.  Kyle began wrestling in the sixth grade and he lost his first 35 matches in a row.  Maybe his body wasn’t built for wrestling.  Perhaps it was true, but his heart refused to listen.  Kyle was a warrior.  He began training with weights and learned wresting moves that uniquely lent themselves to his individualized strengths.  During his senior year, he won 35 times and qualified for the George High School Wrestling Championship.  He won his first three matches at State, and faced his final opponent with a broken nose.  He lost… the wrestling match, but he won much more- the courage and faith to rise above all adversity.  Kyle Maynard was born with incomplete arms and legs.  His arms ended at his elbows and his legs ended at his knees.  Kyle and his family refused to set limits on him.  His grandmother often took him to the grocery store and told him to sit up straight and look people in the eye and smile.  Kyle played football and hockey, but his sport of choice became wrestling which put him more on an equal playing field.  Kyle now attends the University of Georgia and he still wrestles, but he does so much more…  He motivates a whole generation of people and teaches us courage, tenacity, hard work, and faith.  And in that book, that makes him a hero. I can’t wait to share the story of Kyle with my daughters.  How about you? Posted Mar 17 2009, 10:43 AM by Coach Scott with no comments Filed under: Intentional, Self-Image, Self-Esteem, Reward, Positive Behavior, Choices, Motivation

• Talking to your Kids about the Economy

  Kids are naturally intuitive and inquisitive about what is going on around them, and that includes your state of mind and stress level when it comes to your family finances.  Every where you turn, whether on the radio, television, or at your kids’ soccer games, people are talking about the economic situation we are in.  Many parents are asking about what and how much they should communicate with their children.  As parents, you know your kids best, but here are a few guidelines and tips for talking to your kids about the economy: Take a long term perspective and utilize how your family is affected by the economy as a learning opportunity to teach your children how to handle life.  Remind yourself that your children are watching how you handle the stress and crises of life.  If you handle them with character, grace, and maturity, they will emulate this in their own life.  Use this opportunity to teach your kids about a budget.   Sit them down and explain income and expenses.  Take a look at a typical month for your family and talk about the different expenses you have as a family (i.e., food, mortgage or rent payment, entertainment, electric, gas).  Depending on the age of your children, you can be very general or very specific.  Explain that mom and/or dad get paid a certain amount of money for working, and as family it is important not to spend more than you earn. Talk about the difference between necessities and luxuries.  Draw two columns on a piece of paper and use one column to list the necessities of life (i.e., food, shelter, gas for the car) and the other column to list luxuries (i.e., vacations, eating out, membership to the pool).  Ask your kids for examples and discuss each one. Talk about choices and consequences.  Remember you are taking a long term perspective and are teaching your kids about life, so even if you have made some bad choices, talk about the consequences you are experiencing.  Talk about them in a manner that is appropriate to your children’s age and maturity.  Be careful not to frighten them with issues or concerns that are clearly not child-appropriate.  Include your kids in discussions of cutting back on expenses.  As a family, brainstorm ways that each member of the family can cut back.  Examples may include going camping on vacation instead of going on a long trip, mom or dad packing their lunch instead of going out to eat, going to the library to check out DVD’s instead of renting them at the video store, buying clothes at a thrift shop, buying generic items instead of brand names, and staying home playing games instead of going out to the movies. Communicate to your children that you are going to take care of them and reassure them that everything is going to be okay, even if changes have to be made in your family’s life.  If you need emotional support during this time, find other adults that can provide that support and be careful not to burden your children with adult worries. Use this as a time to help others by donating clothes to a local Goodwill, volunteering at church, school, or community outreach programs to help needy families, or serving others in some capacity.  Pulling together as a family and as a community can bring many rewards and blessings that we do not expect.  I encourage you to step back and reflect on what’s important in life such as being together, helping others, and living with honor and integrity through difficult times.   Families can get through these difficult economic times and can come out stronger in the end.  Posted Mar 13 2009, 01:08 PM by Coach Scott with no comments Filed under: Family Time, Intentional, Relationships, Fatherhood, Feelings, Economy, Money, Consequences, Choices

• Don't Lose Your Marbles

  I heard a story the other day about a man who figured out that if the average person lives to 75 years of age, he or she would have 3900 Saturdays in a lifetime.  To remind himself about the importance of spending his life and his “Saturdays” doing important things with those he loved, he calculated how many Saturdays he had left.  When he had this “aha” moment, he was fifty-five years old.  He figured that if made it to seventy-five years of age, he would have approximately 1000 Saturdays left.  To remind himself of this, he went out and bought 1000 marbles and put them in a big jar (He had to go to three different toy stores to find enough).  From that day on, every Saturday evening when he turned in for the night, he took one marble out and threw it away.  This simple act of throwing out the marble revolutionized his life.  He began to spend more time with his wife, his kids, and his grandkids.  He was more intentional with his discretionary time.  He pursued hobbies, relationships, and forgiveness.  He lived more fully and loved more completely.  And when he threw away that last marble midway through his seventy-fifth year, he looked at every day as a gift and received it with joy and gratitude.  This story affected me profoundly.  I realized that “it is much later than I thought.”  I dug out my calculator from my briefcase and calculated that I have 228 Saturdays remaining until my oldest daughter turns 18.  It is going so quickly.  The question I need to ask myself is how I’m going to spend those remaining 228 Saturdays.   And I am going to ask you, how are you going to spend yours?  The saying, “Don’t lose your marbles” suddenly has taken on new meaning for me.  I hope it has for you as well…   Posted Mar 10 2009, 08:42 PM by Coach Scott with 2 comment(s) Filed under: Family Time, Intentional, Relationships, Fatherhood, Feelings, Traditions, Nurture, Humor