Rosalind Wiseman is coming to speak at the November 8, For the Love of Kids Parenting Conference. She has written a couple of books that have really clicked with me. I am currently reading the book entitled, Queenbee Moms and Kingpin Dads. I wonder if this book (and others) should be required reading for parents? Maybe a substitute for volunteer hours?
As I read the book, naturally, I begin to associate people I know into the categories that she describes. Yes, I know a couple of Queenbee moms. Yes, I know a sidekick mom, some wannabee moms, a couple floater moms, and a few outcast moms. I know a few Kingpin dads, a few wannabee dads, a couple sidekick dads, and so on.....
Even if you have not read the book, I am sure you are able to start putting people you know into these categories. It's kinda fun! ..........
But then the reality hits. These people have real impact. Not only on their own kids but on yours! They are the parents of the kids with whom your kids play. They are your child's coaches, scout leaders, and teachers.
When I look at the amount of time we spend talking about bullying and trying to tell our kids what to do and what not to do in bullying situations, I think maybe talk is not enough. We talk about what is right and wrong and how to treat others, in school, in church, and at home.
But what is more important than all of this talk -----HOW WE AS PARENTS ACT. Our actions speak louder than words. If we are Queenbees who want our daughters and sons to be in the "cool group" and we help to control situations or exclude kids to make things exclusive. Or, if we make sure we position our kids so that they are playing with the RIGHT kids to be in the "cool group" because we think we are ENTITLED. Then aren't we setting up the problems from which bullying stems?
If we are the Kingpin dads who coach every sport and make sure that our son gets the most playing time, or the sidekick dad who sucks up to the kingpins so that our sons will be included, then, what are we teaching our kids?? Do these kids look at the other kids with contempt or, with an attitude of I am entitled and therefore I don't have to treat you with respect? If so, then that is the basis for bullying.
Although it is good that most parents have becomed more involved in their children's lives, sometimes it goes to far. If you find yourself fitting into one of the categories I have described,and you are unhappy with your choice--- it is not too late! Remember you can be intentional about parenting. Have a vision. Be the parent you want to be! Rosalind Wiseman describes the reformed Queenbees and the reformed Kingpins as some of the best parents to be with!!
Stay tuned for more about how to deal with these difficult parents in your child's life...............
