Does this mean I have become my mother?

March 2009 - Posts

• Let it rain!

  Does anyone else out there love rainy days? I am a huge fan of rainy days. Living in a city where our climate includes all four seasons, I am fortunate to experience each season for approximately 3 months and then move on to a new season and new climate conditions.  Fits my personality too, I love variety and spontaneity. This time of year brings a lot of rainy days where I live. Splashing in puddles, wiggling worms, and making indoor camps are just a few of the activities that I associate with rainy days. Waiting for the sun to come out, looking for rainbows and seeing the first blossoms popping out of the ground, I am glad that spring has arrived! Tell me your stories about spring time. Do you have any special memories of your own or ideas of things to do with your kids on a rainy day? I would love to hear them!! Posted Mar 26 2009, 06:08 AM by Coach Jamie with no comments Filed under: Parenting, memories, rainy days, spring

• Cell phones

  Recently, I was asked to be the guest blogger for The Washington Post. My blog post was titled, Why my tween does not have a cell phone. and WOW-- did I get a reaction! The comments ranged from: In today's society of the "I want it now" parents are taking the value out of every stage of childhood.  There is something to be said about letting kids be kids. I think it is important for kids to play in the neighborhood instead of having everyone minute planned. At the age of 12 our kids should be playing kick the can, ghost in the graveyard, backyard baseball!! I know you don't need a cell phone for that! and Bravo! Kids do not need a cell phone. Billions of humans have survived just fine without them. Person to person communication is pretty darn important, and I'm afraid that it is suffering these days among the young. Most adults don't need one either. Really. Unless it's for your work. to actually, i think I disagree with the writer. She doesn't want to give her kid a cell phone cause it will make him too grown up? I actually think having a cell phone - to check in every minute, as jhbva indicated - makes it seem as if they are being treated more like a small child. and Well Jamie, it's obvious that your son didn't hit the parent lottery. But to deny a 12 year old boy the ownership of a cell phone doesn't mean it's the end of the world for him. It's quite possible that he can overcome the lack of the most popular social tool known to the modern teenager in a few years. Teenage daughters are different though. if a girl doesn't have one by the time she enters high school, the parents are asking for big problems. Ever see that Stephen King movie "Carrie"? That's what we're talking here. You may as well stamp the words "Nerd" in big, black letters on her forehead every morning before she goes to school. You can spew all kinds of responsibility and maturity garbage at her, but denying her a cell phone is on the same level as taking her social life away. She will hate you for ostracizing her from her peers. So, unless you are hell-bent on crushing your daughter's self esteem, please shell out the extra few bucks to get her a cell phone. It will save on the co-pay fees for her therapy and meds in the first year of independent living alone. What do you think? I would love to hear your comments and thoughts on this topic!!     Posted Mar 18 2009, 05:07 PM by Coach Jamie with 2 comment(s)

• Manners

  "I did not raise you to act that way," was one of my mother's favorite lines. Sometimes when we were kids, my brothers would do something disgusting just to get her to say that very sentence. My mother was raised as an only child. Her parents were older and demanded mannerly behavior. She was in for a big surprise when she became the mother of 3 kids who were a bit spirited. Manners were something that she had to teach us. Sue Shellenbarger wrote a blog today about teaching your kids manners. She even quotes from a physician who blogs," Making Room for Miss Manners is a Parenting Basic." Yeah!! I am a huge fan of teaching kids manners. Not that I have much luck with my own kids. I am constantly going behind someone and flushing the toilet or asking someone to use a napkin-- but I try!! Apparently, according to Shellenbarger,  teaching kids manners is back in style!!  I think my 25 year old is starting to realize the value of manners -- finally. As a recruiter for a local company she meets with professors and others who may help her to find new hires. Hopefully she uses her napkin and the right fork at lunch. My personal pet peeve is when my son does not respond or does not look an adult in the eye when he is spoken to. Drives me nuts --- I really don't think he is deliberately trying to be rude --but he sure looks rude! I don't want to raise Eddie Haskell, (you know the insincere suck-up from the Leave it to Beaver Show), but I don't want a kid who doesn't feel obligated to make the effort to be mannerly and respectful. Mostly, I think much of what kids learn about how to treat others is learned from the way we, as parents, act. We are their role models. But I think kids also need parents to talk with them about appropriate ways to act and give them scripts. How do you feel about teaching kids manners? Tell me your stories. Posted Mar 18 2009, 07:04 AM by Coach Jamie with no comments Filed under: traditions, traditions values, Parenting, New York Times, values, washington post, manners, wall street journal

• St. Paddy's Day

  For those of you that are from Irish descent--like me, (50% of my heritage is Irish), you already know what March 17 means-- lots of green! For those of you that do not have Irish blood, let me welcome you to our family; because on St. Paddy's day EVERYONE is allowed to be Irish!  St. Paddy's Day  is the feast day of St. Patrick, one of the patron saints of Ireland. Although, originally, St. Patrick's day was a religious celebration; it has since become a way for Ireland to let the world know about the Irish people and their culture.   For those of us who love a party-- thank you Ireland! As a parent, I want to expose my kids to all kinds of cultures, especially the culture that our relatives came from. I love to relay stories. My dad tells my kids stories about his grandfather, James Patrick McKeown. As he tells the stories his voice usually changes into some kind of Irish brogue. The story usually has something to do with a shillelagh and a bucket of beer. I am sure it is about 50% true, but the kids love it!  And most of all, they see how proud my dad is of his heritage. It helps them to feel proud of who they are too. Not better or worse than anyone else, just proud to be a part of something.  Some things are universal, in all countries, as the world becomes smaller. Yes, you can go to Ireland and eat at a McDonalds, (we did a few years ago--  I will write about another time.)  Still, many cultures are trying very hard to keep their unique identities. As the world becomes more connected through internet and other forms of communication, I think it is even more important for us to celebrate our differences and our unique cultures. Have you taught your kids about your heritage? What makes you proud? Tell me your stories, I would love to hear them Posted Mar 17 2009, 05:40 AM by Coach Jamie with 1 comment(s) Filed under: values and beliefs, intentional, joyful, traditions, family memories, traditions values, holidays, values, historical events, sharing with your children, childhood, vacation, grandparents, St Patrick's day, irish heritage

• The Air Hockey Operating Table

  In keeping with the theme of inexpensive family fun, I began to reminisce about the things my daughter, (now 25 years old), used to play when she was young. One of the things I found fascinating about my daughter's "play-strategy," (I created that term to describe the way she typically did things when she played), was the way she used things for purposes other than for what they were really intended. The stuffed animals became students in her class and she was the teacher, the lidded sandbox became a restaurant table and she was the waitress, the air hockey table became an operating room and of course she was the surgeon. I don't think that the air hockey table ever got used to play air hockey. It was a hand-me-down gift that was immediately covered with a sheet. Stuffed animals, dolls, and small human cousins received surgery and other treatments from the renowned Dr. Lindsay on that table.  We used to call Lindsay the "bag-lady." She would walk around bagging things up --literally she would get a bag or a purse and just put all kinds of random things inside. Then she would take those things and play with them using each item as a part of whatever the imaginary setting was to be for the day --office, school--hair salon. It was amazing the things she would come up with. Not to say she didn't have plenty of real toys --but she really didn't need many of them for what she liked to "play." Many of you may have seen your children do this as well. How many of you remember playing this way yourself, as a child? I can remember spending hours creating mud-meatballs and stick spaghetti. What are your stories?? I'd love to hear them! Posted Mar 09 2009, 04:00 PM by Coach Jamie with 2 comment(s) Filed under: intentional, family memories, traditions values, sharing with your children, childhood, enjoying your children, positive, kids, free time, creative fun

• A Mattress and a Human Habitrail ®

  It really is amazing how much fun your kids can have for free. I read a post by Brian Reid, blogger for On Parenting, Washington Post, titled, Money-Saving Tips for Family Fun.   With so much focus on finances and the economy, it is the perfect time to talk about ways to have fun and not stress out over spending money. Besides many times the free-- or creative activities are way more fun, (and as a past day camp leader, I dig coming up with creative fun!)  So.....I have decided to write a series of posts on this topic. I would love to hear your stories and ideas about cheap or free ways to have family fun!!   In this spirit, I have to share with you a story about my son.  Some proof  that it isn’t always the cost of the toy or experience that makes it “fun.”  A few years ago, I overheard a conversation my son was having with two of his friends, in the back of the car. Each of the, (then 8 year old), boys was "bragging" about what they had in their basement. One had a pop-a-shot game and a big screen T.V.; one had every possible video game system, a foosball table, and skeeball. You could tell that these kids had nice, finished basements, supplied with fun "stuff." I held my breath, knowing that our basement was unfinished and without any expensive "toys." I wondered if my son felt bad about this. My son chimed in and stated, proudly, that he had a mattress and a human habitrail, (a habitrail is one of those tunnel systems that gerbils run through.) He and his friend had made the habitrail out of boxes, in his basement-- (the mattress had been moved to the basement following his sister's move to college, apparently it was now being used for some kind of entertainment.) When Eric, my son, told his friends what he had in the basement they looked puzzled, at first.  Eric then began to explain how he and the neighborhood boys played with the tunnels and mattress. "Cool," was the reply. "Can we play with it today?" Who would have thought a few cardboard boxes and a mattress could provide sooo much entertainment. Stay tuned for more stories and tips on creative family fun.........   Posted Mar 06 2009, 07:24 AM by Coach Jamie with 1 comment(s) Filed under: values and beliefs, intentional, joyful, economy, traditions, family memories, strengths, economic crisis, parenting role, family traditions, lntentional parenting, Parenting, children, washington post, sharing with your children, childhood, friends, enjoying your children, inspiring, kids, free time, stress, chores family values obama children allowance financial responsibility, finaces, cheap, day camp, creative fun

• Gratitude

  I recently read an article that was, in part, titled, "from attitude to gratitude." The article was written about our economic crisis and how some are handling their financial situation. The article was written for an audience of financial advisors and investors. Not too long ago, I was interviewed for an online magazine called Inspired Mother -Turning Hardship into Hope. This article was written for an audience of parents. The reporter wanted to know my opinion on how to talk with your kids about the economic crisis. My first thought was gratitude. Funny that these two articles were written to different audiences, but on the same topic-- finances and both authors came to the same conclusion-- being grateful for what we already have can help us through hard times. Although the idea of gratitude typically comes up around the autumn and winter holidays, lately, gratitude has been on my mind often. I have a close friend who was diagnosed with cancer in December. She has braved a course of treatment that is coming to the end--if all goes as planned. This treatment has left her unable to enjoy many of the things that we all take for granite. Polly is a great cook and enjoys all kinds of good food but the treatment has left her unable to eat --one of our favorite things to do together!! Rather than go on about the other painful things that are occuring to her body due to this treatment, and the disease itself, I prefer to focus on the lesson she has taught me. Be thankful for the little things in life. Teach your children to be grateful, too. Grieve your losses, yes, but celebrate the things you have. Many times the things that you value the most are not recognized enough. In this time of stress over lost jobs and finances, I know things are not easy. Still, there are so many things to be grateful for in each of our lives. What are you grateful for?? Posted Mar 04 2009, 02:41 PM by Coach Jamie with 1 comment(s) Filed under: values and beliefs, anxiety and stress, intentional parenting, economy, Parenting, anxiety, cancer, gratitude, finaces