Coach Nancy shares thoughts and ideas on the trials and tribulations of parenting as she works as a parent coach and parents her own children ages 11,9,and 7. She shares some insights she has gained as a parent/coach as well as some funny stories.
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Connection and communication are key ingredients for a healthy relationship with our children. They take effort on our part as parents. Dave, a busy dad with four children, uses some creativity and good timing to connect with his children.
Dave is my guest blogger today. Here is how he connects with his daughter by allowing her to ask the questions:
Here is the deal, I am a dad. I have four kids. Girl, Boy, Boy, Girl. Last evening as I was getting ready to tuck the older daughter into bed, I made her scoot over and we looked at the ceiling together.
She was having a tough evening and so to kind of cool down, I said, "OK, you can ask me any four questions and I'll promise to answer them."
I wanted her to know that she could ask me anything (at any time, not just then) and so I offered her the challenge/format.
And she did ask me four questions. Three of them were serious, good questions (two that I'll share are, "Why are you so stubborn sometimes?" and "Why do you have to be so organized?" (<-- had to do with making menus for the week and grocery shopping).
I answered them. I am pretty sure that I answered them to her satisfaction. I know that I answered them openly, honestly, and with love.
Anyway, by offering to provide good, honest answers, it (a) allowed her to be in charge of a conversation, (b) allowed us to build on our relationship (I hope to be her friend one day, not just her dad), (c) made me a little vulnerable and (d) allowed her to see that I'm just as human as she is.
Those four questions allowed my daughter a different path to connect to her dear, old dad. I'm glad that she traveled down the path a little with me.
Thank you, Dave, for your story and for the great idea. How do you connect and keep the lines of communication open with your children?
About Coach Nancy
Parent Coach and mother of three
Beech Acres Parenting Center
Coach Nancy has a master’s degree in social work, and has been working with children and families for over 10 years. In the school setting, her experience includes conducting conflict resolution and anger management classes for first through seventh graders. Working together with school professionals, she strives to use all resources available to optimize each child’s school experience.
In the hospital setting, she has worked with children who have cancer and their families to help them manage their emotions, and to coordinate resources to deal with the challenges as effectively as possible.
When coaching parents, Nancy believes her most important experience comes from being a parent herself. Her parenting philosophy can be summed up with a quote from parenting expert Barbara Coloroso: “There is no one way to raise our children, but a path that we must find.” She believes in an approach that focuses on strengths while acknowledging and working through challenges. Often, the greatest learning experiences lie in the challenges.
