MyParentingSource Articles

Have you ever wondered when your crying baby will rest peacefully? Tried every game and disciplinary action in the book to get your child to eat peas?

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Teach your child to manage his anger by giving your child words for his feelings.

Anger often escalates when a child feels misunderstood. Simply enabling your child to communicate by giving names to his feelings can help him feel more calm and be understood.

Is it safe to say that all of us as parents at one point or another have asked our children to apologize? Apologies are transparent when you think about it. The ‘I just want to get out of trouble and get this over with’ apologies are really obvious. With these types of apologies there is li
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The Down Side of Doing it All

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“What do you mean you didn’t pay my library fine???” your teen shrieks. “I won’t be able to take out books to write my paper!” The door slams and a picture crashes to the floor.

It’s a scene that leaves both parents and teen angry and distraught.

As a parent, you want your kids to be happy and appreciative of the good things in their lives. How do the kids of well-meaning parents end up miserable and angry instead?

Your children’s awareness of the feelings of others – including their parents – stems from the understanding with which you respond to their feelings.

But like any other ability, empathy is developed by providing age-appropriate challenges. Infants cannot understand the needs of others. Toddlers can learn not to hit because it hurts. Preschoolers can take turns.

Early on, kids can and should be held responsible to attend to the feelings of others. By the time they’re teens, they can understand that their parents, too, have feelings and needs.

Often it’s parents’ beliefs that fuel a sense of entitlement and anger in their children, along with a lack of regard for other people. Beliefs like:

“If I can save my child some trouble, I should.” Instead, allow your child the excitement and independence that accompany taking on increased responsibility.

“I must protect my child from disappointment.” Actually, unhappiness teaches important lessons like responsibility (remembering to return library books) and resilience.

“I need to make sure my child never fails.” Sometimes failure is the best way to learn how to succeed.

“If we can afford it, why shouldn’t my child have it?” This kind of thinking tells kids to expect the world delivered on a silver platter.

“If my child is angry with me, she’ll stop loving me.” That’s OK. The limits that kids need to keep them safe are likely to make them angry at times.

“It’s devastating for children to feel guilt.” In reality, feeling ashamed of their own hurtful behavior is a catalyst for change.

Far from smoothing the way for your child, beliefs like these can actually spawn a crippling sense of entitlement. Next week, we’ll talk about how to adjust your own thinking and help your child move back to a healthier place.