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Have you ever wondered when your crying baby will rest peacefully? Tried every game and disciplinary action in the book to get your child to eat peas?

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Teach your child to manage his anger by giving your child words for his feelings.

Anger often escalates when a child feels misunderstood. Simply enabling your child to communicate by giving names to his feelings can help him feel more calm and be understood.

Is it safe to say that all of us as parents at one point or another have asked our children to apologize? Apologies are transparent when you think about it. The ‘I just want to get out of trouble and get this over with’ apologies are really obvious. With these types of apologies there is li
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Grabbing the Opportunity

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As I was standing in line at the coffee shop last week, the YouTube video of the beating of a teen girl in Florida by other girls came onto the overhead TV screen.

It happened that a small high school class was meeting in the shop over coffee and muffins. Behind me, in line, I heard the comments of two of the boys.

“Wow, cool!” said one.

“Did you see that? She really caught that elbow in her face!” said the other.

“I can’t wait to download that when I get home,” replied the first.

In front of me, one of the girls said quietly, “That really happened.” She sounded sad and did not try to address the boys.

As I left the shop, their teacher was managing logistics so that class could be convened over snacks. What an opportunity she had been afforded by the chance airing of this video!

When an opening to have a meaningful conversation comes your way, try to be ready. An adult in this particular situation could approach it like this:

Ask unbiased questions that allow kids to draw their own inferences. “Has anyone heard the details?” This allows the boys to independently juxtapose their remarks against the reality that the girl was seriously harmed, both physically and emotionally.

Amplify the quieter voices. “Lisa, I thought I heard you say, ‘That really happened.’ Can you say a little more about that?”

Show kids how to connect. Help them respond to each other’s feelings. “John, what meaning are you taking from Lisa’s words?”

Facilitate a conversation that shows them how to share perspectives without condemning. Teach the use of “I-statements” as a tool to promote dialogue. Lisa might say, “I am upset hearing your words, John. It feels personal, as though a girl being beaten would be OK with you. Is that what you meant?”

Perhaps these boys thought they were being cool. If so, this was the chance for them to learn that the very girls whom they wished to attract were instead offended and even felt victimized by their callous comments.

Kids learn the big lessons in life from the smallest of moments – if we’re aware enough to grab them.