Children's Anger and Tantrums

Anger and Power

It’s helpful to look at how anger relates to power.

Children often equate outbursts of anger with power. This is a misconception --the opposite is true. When people feel a loss of power, some use angry outbursts as a method of gaining control over their situation.

An example to discuss with your child:

Eight-year old David has had a bad day. He’s angry, and decides to take it out on a classmate, John. David yells at John, calling him names and chasing him around the playground.
Who has more power -- David or John?

Answer: John has more power, and more control over his choices. He can choose:

• Not to run;
  
• Ask for help;
  
• Ignore David. 

David is out of control, and doesn’t have many choices.

Helping children recognize they have more control when they can (1) Calm themselves; and (2) Think through a problem will help them manage their daily interactions more successfully.