Intentional Strength-Based Parenting

Resources: Websites, Tools & Books

Websites

• Authentic Happiness.  Martin Seligman, PhD, is the former president of the American Psychological Association and a top notch researcher.
  
  Hover over the Questionnaires navigation link at the top of the page and click on VIA (Values in Action) Strengths for Children. This is long, and you may have to answer for your children, but it will give you some ideas of strengths to look for. Try taking the adult version, too!
  
  
• Multiple Intelligences Test.  You'll enjoy filling out this online survey which automatically creates a colorful profile for you.  The results will reflect your own tendency to rate things either in terms of extremes or closer to the middle.
  
  It’s wise to use caution with this or any other test or survey, since they only provide a snapshot of a single moment in time.  This quiz will provide ways to look at strengths. It's based on Thomas Gardner's Multiple Intelligences, a theory that recognizes strengths beyond the academic.  You’ll also encounter this concept as you fill out the Parenting Compass.

  There’s no one way to identify your child’s strengths. You can, though, develop the skill to notice them when they pop up,then jot them down. 

Tools

• Action Plan for Parents.  Use this tool to walk you through the process of identifying a parenting goal, envisioning the change you want to achieve, and planning a strategy to make it happen.  As you’re writing, picture what achievement of your parenting goal looks like, how it feels, how it sounds – and then take another moment to really experience what this change would mean for you personally.
  
  HINT: Work on your Action Plan when you have a few quiet minute to reflect.  Taking the time to develop a strong image of the change you’re working to create will pull you toward your goal.
  
  
• Action Plan Journal (for parents).  As you implement your Parenting Action Plan, use this page to jot down some brief notes.  This will help you track the effectiveness of the steps you are taking.  Sometimes children move forward in tiny steps, making it easy to miss their achievements.  The Action Plan Journal will help you notice and celebrate the progress your children are making.
  
  
• Aspirations.  The Aspirations worksheet gives you an opportunity to take the long view for a moment.  So often in the day-to-day rush, parents find themselves constantly reacting, with very little time to envision their hopes for their children.  What values would you like to instill in your children?
  
  What skills do you hope they’ll develop?  What experiences would you like them to have?
  
  
• Dreams -- A Child's Visioning Tool.  It's the amazing things our children imagine today that will create the world of tomorrow.  When children have the opportunity to envisi8on themselves learning, experiencing, doing, being, they are able to fine tune their dreams and begin to shape them into reality.  It’s not important that their imaginings be “realistic” in adult terms.  What’s important is that they have a chance to expand into the possibilities of their personalities.  Using words and pictures to complete the Dreams Visioning Tool, your children can create a concrete reminder of the exciting promise life holds for them.
  
  
• Getting to Know My Daughter/Getting to Know My Son.  Each day our children teach us a little more about who they are.  By eflecting back to children exactly who they really are, how they actually eel and what they truly believe, we as parents provide invaluable support n helping them develop their personalities.  This little tool provides a lace to jot down day by day the little things you see that tell you about our child as a person.  As the page fills up, you'll see an exciting rofile of the fabulous individual your child is becoming.
  
  
• I Found Out Something About Myself Today (for children).  Children strive throughout childhood and adolescence to develop a strong sense of self.  It starts wit the discovery in infancy that they are separate from their parents and, in their second year, can disagree with them!  Children who have a strong sense of who they are, what they believe, what value4s they hold are less vulnerable to peer pressure and have less of a need to rebel in adolescence.  Demonstrate your respect for your child’s process of self-discovery by offering this tool.
  
  HINT: If your child is curious, it can be fun to look at what you’ve learned about him next to his conclusions about himself.  Just listen and share.  Don’t be insistent about your point of view.  If he says he likes red and you think he prefers purple, that’s okay!  What is important is to communicate your enjoyment of his process of self-discovery.
  
  
• Learning What Works (For parents of boys and for parents of girls).  It can be quite a surprise to find out that parenting approaches that have worked fine with your first child are not at all effective with your second!  The “Learning What Works” tool is designed to provide a place to jot down what you observe as you provide teaching and discipline for your children.  Create a separate sheet for each child.
  
  With a record of what works at your fingertips, you’ll be able to make a thoughtful decision about how to approach new challenges with each of your children.
  
  
• My Action Plan (for kids).  Moving from vision to accomplishment requires a set of skills that parents can teach.  Use this tool to show your child how to put a goal into words and how to think through the Action Steps he’ll have to take in order to reach that goal.  Guide the process by being curious.  Ask questions like, “What do you think you’ll have to do to make that happen?” and “How often (or how many times) do you think you’ll need to do that?”

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