Raising Resilient Kids
Why is Resilience Important?
Life throws out new challenges daily, and a resilient child has a leg up on working through them. Bullying and chronic illness are among the more extreme examples of why resilience matters.
Many problems a child faces may not seem like a big deal for adults. To children, the feelings and their importance makes them just as significant. The level of distress your child feels over slights to his self esteem, as well as to traumatic events, is directly related to his coping skills and sense of self worth. A situation easily handled by one child may well be traumatic to another.
For instance, when a group on the playground leaves out an eight-year-old girl, her feeling of sadness can become quite intense. If she can rely on her Helpers, her Self, her Beliefs, and her Strengths, she will be able to manage her sadness, calm down and then work through the problem. She can explore options, like playing with someone else or doing something fun on her own.
If one or more of these pillars of resilience are not intact, this child may have a much harder time bouncing back. If she lacks support (My Helpers), she may stay stuck in thoughts like “No one wants to play with me,” which leads to more sadness and possibly, isolation.
If her self esteem is low (My Self), she may think, “People don’t like me enough to want to be around me.” As a result, she won’t seek out other playmates.
If her problem-solving capability to solve problems are poor (My Strengths), she won’t know what to do. If she doesn’t believe she can make a difference (My Beliefs), she will give up.
