Raising Resilient Kids
Ages & Stages
The following are some tools for fostering resilience based on your child’s age:
Infants and Toddlers
- Build your infant’s trust by spending time with your baby and attending to his needs.
- Provide positive discipline and childproof your home to keep your toddler safe.
- Build your toddler’s sense of competence by celebrating accomplishments and developmental milestones.
- Foster resilience by giving words to your toddler’s feelings.
- Promote your toddler recognition of her own capabilities with phrases such as: “You can do it.”
- Balance the freedom for your toddler to explore with the need for safety.
Preschoolers and Kindergartners
- Be careful not to tie your child’s
ability to adjust to preschool and kindergarten to the love you
express. Provide unconditional love to your three- to five-year-old as
she takes these giant steps.
- Teach your preschooler anger management and help him identify feelings.
- When your three- to five-year-old faces challenges, model self-esteem and capability.
- Help your preschooler begin learning how to work with her temperament.
- Teach your three- to five-year-old problem-solving and let your child come up with solutions.
- Balance providing help to your preschooler with encouraging independence. As a rule, don’t do for your child what she is able to do for herself.
Elementary Age Children
- Continue to express your love verbally to your elementary-aged child.
- Talk to your six- to ten-year-old about resilience and how to handle challenging situations.
- Encourage your young school-aged child to talk with you about situations at school and brainstorm solutions.
- Allow your elementary aged child increasing independence while serving as an anchor for support.
- Balance your six- to ten-year-old child’s autonomy with being available when he needs help.
Middle Schoolers
- Express your love to your middleschooler
in the way she can best receive it – through words, hugs, notes on the
refrigerator or doing things together.
- Help your middleschooler to draw upon past experiences in the face of challenging situations.
- Keep the lines of communication open with your tween.
- Allow your middleschooler more independent activities.
- Allow your tween opportunities to think things through and make choices by applying problem solving skills.
Pre-Adolescents and Adolescents
- Affirm your teen’s ability to handle challenging situations.
- Start talking about adult tasks and responsibilities with your teen. Support her in taking on new responsibilities.
- Continue to be an anchor and a source of support for your teen.
- Continue increasing your adolescent’s
responsibilities with an eye toward adulthood. Adolescents are often
impulsive, so balance their need for structure to keep them safe with
the reality that they’ll be on their own very soon and need to practice.
