Self Esteem
Feeling Loved is Not Enough
Doing everything for kids doesn’t help build self-esteem; your child needs to feel both loved and capable. This means knowing she can accomplish what she sets out to do.
Gaining age-appropriate skills helps build self-esteem. Kids hold themselves in higher regard when they feel capable. You help build your child’s self-esteem when you help him learn to tie his own shoes and celebrate his accomplishments.
Some additional ways to increase self-esteem by helping your children realize their own capabilities:
- Discipline with limits. Kids need discipline to develop self-esteem. Discipline means “to teach.” As your child’s teacher, you help build capabilities. For more information, see Discipline.
- Teach your children what to do when things don’t go their way. There’s more to building self-esteem than celebrating accomplishments. Help your children acknowledge their feelings and take steps to make positive changes.
- Teach your child how to solve problems. Problems are a part of life, and navigating challenges a key to building self-esteem. For more, see the following topics: Children’s Anger and Tantrums, Emotional Intelligence, Discipline, and Raising Resilient Kids.
- Provide age-appropriate opportunities for kids to make choices. Your home provides a training ground for learning capabilities and handling mistakes.
- Teach your child that learning involves many attempts and some mistakes. Mistakes are important learning opportunities. When your child views mistakes this way, her self-esteem rises and her confidence in her capabilities grows.
Children who understand this feel just as valuable and capable whether making two mistakes a day or ten. For a three-year-old, something as simple as learning how to clean up spilled milk can boost his self-esteem when he does it himself the next time.
