MyParentingSource Learning Hub: Sibling Rivalry

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Seek Active Solutions for Predictable Difficulties Before They Happen (Read more...)

Seek Active Solutions for Predictable Difficulties Before They Happen

Super market meltdowns, morning madness, witching hour, can often be averted if limits are set ahead of time.

Dr. Ron Taffel, Psy D., Raising Your More Spirited Child, 2000 Cincinnati For the Love of Kids® Parenting Conference.

Resist the Urge to Compare Your Children Either Favorably or Unfavorably (Read more...)

Resist the Urge to Compare Your Children Either Favorably or Unfavorably

Instead, describe what you like, what you don't like or what you would like from this child.

Adele Faber, M.A., Siblings Without Rivalry, 2000 Cincinnati For the Love of Kids® Parenting Conference.

Treat Children Uniquely Rather Than Equally (Read more...)

Treat Children Uniquely Rather Than Equally

To be loved equally is to be less.

To be loved for your own special, separate self is to be loved as much as anyone needs to be loved.

Adele Faber, M.A., Siblings Without Rivalry, 2000 Cincinnati For the Love of Kids® Parenting Conference.

Avoid Labeling Children (Read more...)

Avoid Labeling Children

"Joe is the athlete; Jim is the smart one." Both Joe and Jim need support and appreciation for their athletic and intellectual abilities.

Adele Faber, M.A., Siblings Without Rivalry, 2000 Cincinnati For the Love of Kids® Parenting Conference.

Articles

Sibling Rivalry

A Strength-Based Approach

Let your children know you love them as individuals. Children need to know they’re loved and appreciated for who they are. They need you to spend special time with them, without their siblings, doing something they really like.
Let your children know you love them as part of your family. Show your children they’re part of a special team -- your family!

Some ideas include:
- Make T-shirts with your last name on them for a special event. Have children decorate their shirts to reflect their individuality within the family.
- Do things together. Set traditions, and keep them going as your kids get older. For example when the kids are young you may have dinner together almost every night. As they get older, consider designating one night a week “family night.”
- Connect through other family rituals and traditions.
Instill basic rules of respect in your home. Discuss the importance of treating everyone respectfully. You can teach these values to young children through puppets, play and books. You can also lead by example by modeling respectful behavior towards others.
Avoid comparing children with each other. Appreciate and encourage each child’s special gifts and talents. Every child has his own unique personality and will develop at his own rate. Visibly favoring one child over another based on behavior rarely has the desired effect, and often backfires. Deal with behavior issues individually and equitably, and provide each child with what she needs in order to learn.
Be prepared. As much as you can, be ready to handle sibling rivalry situations.
- Plan ahead to avoid situations where siblings will compete with each other.
- Think ahead to be sure you’ve done everything you can to make the environment less chaotic and more conducive to allowing your children to get along.

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