Understanding Temperaments
Working with Similarities and Differences
When you can understand your own and your child’s temperament, you can help your child work through the emotions that arise from his temperament.
For example, if persistence is one of your traits, you’ll understand your persistent child’s difficulty shifting gears because you may also find interruptions challenging. Understanding makes it possible to invent strategies that help your child make those tough transitions. As a result, you and your child feel more connected, and strengthen the foundation for your child to grow into an emotionally healthy adult.
Working with temperaments has challenges. For example, if both you and your child are sensitive to crowds, you’ll need to limit the amount of time together in crowded places. If your child has a “meltdown” when you’re having trouble dealing with the stimuli yourself, it’s hard to remain constructive and positive.
Awareness is the key. If you can’t avoid the situation, the presence of another adult may help diffuse it.
If you’re a more laid-back parent with an active child, you may need to structure your time to allow some breaks. You may also want to plan activities involving other children so they can stay busy while you supervise.
The idea is to look for how your temperament and your child’s interact. You may find you can build on commonalities and that some differences complement each other.
Take advantage of the areas where your temperaments work well together to build connection with your child. View problem areas as opportunities as well – opportunities to know yourself and your child better, and to coach and teach your child skills that can last a lifetime.
